FREE BASIC SCENE PLANER

Many writers cringe when they hear the words PLAN and OUTLINE.

They say writing is an art and that outlines could limit one’s creativity. Some may even say that outlines originated within the iron chains of capitalism, or maybe it’s the patriarchy’s fault, no wait, it’s aliens, totally. Aliens want outlines, it’s their way of brainwashing us, they’re watching.

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I’m one to think that knowing where you want to go with your story and how you will get there is effing important. Plus, it will save you a shi**load of time on re-writes.

Think of it this way: When you cross a road, you intend to reach the other side, usually by walking with your own two feet. And so it is with writing: You need to know where you’re going and how you’ll get there. Sure, you can change paths, or even follow a new route, but at least you knew from the start where you wanted to go.

That’s why I use a basic scene planner. You can download my template below. This is not a work of my own, these sheets have been used for writers since I don’t know how long. You can also find a bunch of other scene planners online and make one that’s better suited for you.

If  you’re a WORD fan, click here to download: SCENE PLANNER FOR WORD

If you’re an EXCEL fan, click here to download: SCENE PLANNER FOR EXCEL

(By the way, I’ve included a nice little example in these files to help you out)

Some people prefer making a general outline, but I’m not one of them. First, because I have the basic ideas in my head, and second, because I’ll put them in the scene planner anyway.  BUT, if you’re a big fan of general outlining, you can find some great stuff here.

And that’s all for today.

Oh, don’t forget, if you’re in London on the 17th of September, come to the Triskele LitFest and meet me in person! 🙂

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Posted in books, Fun, Publishing, Writing, Writing craft

Triskele Lit Fest 2016

If you live in London, you might want to hit up the Triskele Lit Fest on the 17th of September.

Why, you ask?

There will be A TON of workshops with A TON of talented authors who write in A TON of genres, such as:

  • Sci-fi / Fantasy
  • Romance
  • Crime and Thrillers
  • Historical Fiction
  • Also, UNICORNS.

You know what’s even better?

I’LL BE SPEAKING AT THE SCI-FI/ FANTASY PANEL!

along with Eliza Green, Jeff Norton, Yen Ooi and Felicia Yap!

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I’m at the center because, as previously suspected, the world spins around moi

We can meet face-to-face, you can get a nice autographed book, and even have a coffee with your favorite author (me).

Can you say that about your favorite author? Would Patrick Rothfuss have a coffee with you? He probably would, because he’s awesome, but I digress.

Here’s the official website for the event.

AND THAT’S NOT ALL: if you still wanna have a chat with me, but you can’t come to London, you can use the hashtag #meetingauthors tonight at 19:30 BST so we can have a pretty wicked conversation about writing, Fantasy, life, and specially, pretzels, because who doesn’t like pretzels?

If you hate pretzels, maybe don’t join the Twitter conversation.

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Posted in books, Fun, Publishing, Writing

What’s your Favourite Love Story?

Mine is probably the one I have with chocolate chip cookies. And Stranger Things.

How about you?

Oh, and speaking of love stories, this is coming to you very soon (yay!)

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Posted in books, Fun, movies, Uncategorized

How to Reply to a Rejection Letter

A lot of people have trouble dealing with form rejections, be that for a project, a job, a book, college, or pretty much anything in this world.

Being an author, and therefore having some degree of experience in the matter, I figured it’s my duty to help people during such distressful times.

Disclaimer:  Don’t ever reply to a rejection letter. You’re better than that, bae.

So here’s  HOW TO REPLY TO A REJECTION LETTER  (you’re welcome):

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for taking the time to consider me/my ______ for your _______.  I deeply appreciate the opportunity, and respect your decision.

With that being said: Fuck you. Fuck the fuckidy you, hard in the ass, several times, and then some. Fuck you everywhere. Fuck you, fuck your cat, fuck your grandma, and fuck your cow, if you have one. I mean, who doesn’t have a cow? You don’t, obviously. 

So let me spell that for you: F U C K   Y O U. Have an awesome fucking day, you cold-hearted douche.

Sincerely,

The person you’ll regret rejecting for the rest of your sorry life.

PS 1: Imma J.K. Rowling / Jack Canfield / Harrison Ford / Stephen Hawking yo ass someday.

PS 2: You were my second choice anyway.

PS 3: You suck monkey balls.

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Posted in books, Fun, Writing

It’s My Birthday Today

Yes, it has happened. I am older (though if we think about it, we’re older every passing day, minute, and second, so, what gives? Idk, man.)

Anyway, I have mixed feelings about my birthday. I mean, it’s always a cool opportunity to take a day off and enjoy a sunny day with my husband at the lake, a husband who happens to have a striking similarity to this guy:

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(Minus the abs, that is. I like having some meat to grab, taut muscles are so overrated)

So all of this is cool, but at the same time… I’M OLDER. We’re all slowly dying, people!

My best friend said that I was growing smarter like Yoda, because apparently, when we’re young we’re stupid (most of the time, I guess?) So according to her, getting older = getting smarter, and I’m not sure if she’s really my best friend anymore. I mean, she should know that I’m the living proof against that argument.

Anyway. Even if it were true, Yoda gets no hot chicks, and Yoda lives isolated in a crappy swamp planet. Yoda is cool, but BEING YODA SUCKS.

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#sorryyoda

So that’s it. Our boobs will get saggy and our skin will wrinkle… and life will keep being a pretty wonderful thing.

 We might get older, but the journey we’ve been through is totally worth it.

So that’s my birthday rant/ realization of this year. Plus, I’m married to Tarzan, so I’m cool.

Oh, and if you feel like giving me a free, quick gift, why not like my Facebook page? You know you want to. *using Jedi mind trick on you* You will like my Facebook page.

Did it work? Tell me it did, ’cause then it’ll mean that I’m a Jedi, and fuck this shit, I’m off to Naboo.

PS: A hot Jedi. Like Obi-wan, okay? Not like Yoda.

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Posted in Fun, Writing

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