Thus God Invented the Menstrual Cycle

So Eve tempted Adam to bite the apple and Adam, who was really horny, bit the apple so that Eve would give him a free pass into her highway, and both were banned from the Garden of Eden, and just before they left, God called Eve and said,

“Thou has tempted thy brother Adam.”

And Eve was all like, “WTF?  He’s my brother?”

And God explained that, “Technically he’s your father. You came from his ribs, remember?”

And Eve yelled, “You chauvinist pig, that’s disgusting! By the way, why didn’t you make me first? Emma Watson will be all over this sexist shit, I promise you.”

God shrugged. “Adam was the trial and you the masterpiece.”

So Eve blushed and was all like, “Well played, God. Well played.”

And God was like, “Don’t change the subject.” He pointed his giant godly finger at her and said, “For thou betrayal, thou gender shall be punished by leaking blood and suffering maddening pains every month, until they reach an age when their breasts are saggy and their bodies wrinkled.” God shook his head. “You stupid hoe.”

And thus the menstrual cycle was born.

And Eve was still all like, WTF?

Thanks a lot, Eve.


C.S. Wilde writes about fantastical worlds, love stories larger than life and epic battles. She also, quite obviously, sucks at writing an author bio. She finds it awkward that she must write this in the third person, and hopes you won’t notice.

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Fun, Publishing, Writing
2 comments on “Thus God Invented the Menstrual Cycle
  1. garym6059 says:

    Ok I may have just spit up my drink reading this!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. But since you're at it, why not subscribe to my mailing list instead? : )

Join 1,300 other followers
%d bloggers like this: